Some new pics

So I have been really trying to become a better photographer. With some help and advice from my friend Trina and much reading I think I am doing ok.

Four Small Buttons

So let me just tell y'all about how excited I am about the little things in life. Most of you know that my 2nd daughter, when she was 3 got sick and through a series of events that went from bad to nightmarish, she ended up with severe brain damage. The docs said she would be a vegetable for the rest of her life and not to expect anything from her. Every part of her brain was damaged but her cerebellum received the most damage. The cerebellum is responsible for fine motor skills, among other things. It is the hardest to recover. Now Isabelle is doing really well, in 4th grade general ed, smart, funny,beautiful. She has some gross motor skill issues but her fine motor skills are the big issue. Of course I am extremely grateful for how well she has recovered so far but her milestones are fewer are farther apart lately. So the little thing I am thankful for? Just the other day, 7 yrs after her injury, she came up to me and showed me that she had buttoned her pj's all by herself. Four small buttons. The pride I felt is unexplainable. I am so blessed that I can stop and share in what seems a small accomplishment to some, but to my baby it is the difference between dependence and independence. The smile on her face was beyond description. I applaud my little girl for her determination and effort in what we take for granted every day. I thank my Heavenly Father for allowing me to be her mother and for being able to have the unique and wonderfully humbling perspective of having a child with special needs.

Christmas Pic

Never That November

Heaven seems to sense my mood and sends the rain to imitate my tears.

If I shed just one for every thought of them I'd cry for a thousand years.

Time has passed and failed to heal my wounds. I wonder if it forgot me...?

Pain is as fresh as the day it first came and sorrow threatens to stop me.

Grief...depression, the line is a blur. How am I supposed to know?

If one is deep and the other deeper, and I feel as low as I can go?

Where happiness was, sadness reigns. Where dreams happened, nightmares lay claim.

My eyes close and see the pain. No escape from myself or yesterday's stain.

So scared to forget, tormenting to remember.

So many things to be thankful for, but never that November.

I couldn't help her. Couldn't hold their hands.

Ease their suffering. Stop him before it began.

Couldn't say goodbye. Couldn't hug one more time.

Couldn't see it coming. I feel so blind.

Didn't even know it happened. Shouldn't I have known?

Felt the agony she did, when their breath had flown?

I couldn't take their place. Couldn't help them at all.

Forced to standby, as hate made them fall.

So scared to forget, tormenting to remember.

So many things to be thankful for, but never that November.

Wrap my arms around myself, to hold the pain in.

Scared to let go, as by doing so, sorrow will win.

So consuming, far reaching, and powerful it feels.

How many times can a wounded soul heal?

Every thought tears me, just a little bit more.

Every memory makes my heart hit the floor.

Happy ones, sad ones, it is all the same.

Because yesterday has ended, tomorrow has abstained.

So scared to forget, tormenting to remember.

So many things to be thankful for, but never that November.

for those who missed it on my facebook

OK soo my kids have issues...Elijah had to get his cast redone b/c he accidentally peed in it...yes...he peed in his cast. I had to take all 4 kids with me while he got that done & Oly started to throw a fit b/c I wouldn't let her put her flash cards all over the floor. So she threatend to pee on herself. There I am trying to hold Elijah while he thinks the guy is going to cut his foot off with the saw he is using on his urine filled cast while Olivia is screaming at me that she is going to pee on herself & I am pleading with her for the love of everything NOT to. She did anyways. I am torn between her and the huge puddle forming on the floor and Elijah and his look of terror. Alexis ran out to the car to get new clothes while I wiped up the pee (with 4 casting people watching me) and carried Olivia to the nearest bathroom with Isa & Elijah hobbling behind me. Olivia kept trying to talk to me and I told her to be quiet b/c I did not want to talk right then. She said "but I wanna talk" and I said "but I don't". To which she replied "you just talked again"......

For Youth Conference we went up to Mt. Rainer. It was so fun! If you look in the middle right hand side of this picture you can see a trail....I almost died on that trail...seriously....ok not really but it COULD HAVE happened. I was scared to death though.... A stream by Narada Falls

Some of my YW and Sis. McGiffin and I.

Caleb....the MAN!!

Caleb is in the ROTC program through his High School. Isn't he soooo handsome!!

I am soo blessed!!!!!

Elijah & Olivia

My two favorite guys

Wapato Park

All of my babies!
Olivia

Isabelle

Elijah

Alexis
We went to Wapato Park in Tacoma and I took some pics of the kids. They fed the geese and we had a picnic. Beautiful place, lots of photo opportunities...but the lake is stagnant and smelly.

It's been a minute...

So I haven't posted in awhile b/c I didn't think anyone was reading my blog. But it turns out some do and want me to add something new. Not much has been happening here around my house. My older sister, Aubrey, had a baby boy back on 5 May. He was 13 wks early but he is doing well. His name is Octavian and he is still up in the NICU though but should be home by his original due date of 31 July. My twin, Sara, had a baby girl named Samiah Joy on 11 June. I was blessed to be able to be there when she was born and spend the 1st two weeks with them. Olivia went with me and and got to spend time with her cousin Peyton. They are only 17 days apart in age so it was fun to see them together. They could get to be quite a handful though, mischievious little buggers. I competed in April and again in June. It was fun but for medical reasons I might be done with competition. Alexis will be going to girls camp on the 6th for the 1st time!! I can't believe how quickly she is growing. Elijah had his 4th birthday on 25 April. Such a little man. Isabelle is close to being out of her ankle braces and into shoe inserts! Sooo excited for that. Not much else..

SO I have 10 days until the Empire Classic. Still need to drop water, get brown, learn to walk like a girl and not fall over when I turn. Getting a bit nervous.

My little baby turns 12 on 02 March 2009. I cannot believe she is growing up so fast. Brianne took her out for the day today and took her to a beauty salon to get her hair done. She got highlights put in her hair and got it curled. She looks so grown and different to me....crazy.